Tips for Calling and Visiting Brethren
By Allan E. McNabb

Calling our brethren on the phone and visiting them, is one of the most important things we can do to encourage them, especially if they are sick, lonely, or homebound.

In this article, I want to focus on a few things to remember when calling and visiting brethren.

Just Do It!
It can be difficult getting over the fear of doing something new, if we’re not accustomed to calling and visiting brethren.  We can become paranoid about what we’ll say or do, perhaps wondering if something will happen that we can’t handle.  Realistically, though, calling and visiting brethren is one of the simplest and most fun things you’ll do in service to God.

Sometimes we don’t allocate our time to allow for calling and visiting during the day or early evening.  Sometimes we get ready to call someone and look at the clock, only to see that it’s too late.  Personally, to help overcome this problem, I use a free online calendar that sends time-sensitive messages to my phone so I remember to call and visit.

You May Have To Force Yourself
To get started, you might have to force yourself to pick up the phone and call.  Then you might have to force yourself to visit.  But the important thing is that you do it, and get into the habit of doing it. 
When I need a little motivation to call and visit, I try to imagine what it’s like to be stuck at home, wanting someone to call or visit.  I tell myself, “If I visit others while I’m healthy, maybe someone will visit me when I’m sick and lonely.”

When Should You Call
As brethren, we usually know one another well enough to know a time that’s likely convenient for calling and visiting.  It can’t be too early or too late.  You might call after school but not during dinner.  You might call after dinner but not at bedtime.  But above all, it’s better to call and interrupt someone who is lonely and homebound, rather than not call at all.

It’s also good to call on special days:  birthday, anniversaries, etc.  Brethren who have lost loved ones usually appreciate (and need) these calls on special days — days that usually make them sad.

What Should You Expect To Talk About?
Don’t expect to talk about anything — just call to say hello, and let the conversation flow naturally.

You may want to have a few things in mind to stimulate conversation, if the person you’re calling feels like talking.  But don’t worry about having a litany of topics to discuss.  Just make sure gossip, and the like, doesn’t enter into the conversation.

Tips For Visiting Brethren
It’s always good to call before visiting.  This prevents wasting your time and resources driving to a person’s house to learn they aren’t there.  By calling in advance, you can also ask if they feel like having visitors.

Once you schedule a visit, try to keep the appointment unless it’s absolutely necessary to cancel.  People who are sick and homebound get their hopes up when they know someone is coming to see them.  If you schedule the appointment and then cancel, it’s very disappointing.

Let them know how long you can stay, especially if you have a tight schedule and can only stay a few minutes.  This way, they won’t get their hopes up and expect you to visit longer than you can, and they won’t be disappointed when you have to leave quickly.  Along this line of thought, also give them a little warning before you have to leave.

Don’t worry about what you’ll talk about or what you’ll do — just go.  Most of the time, you’ll just chitchat.  Sometimes you’ll talk about the Bible, the church, or God.  Be confident that you can deal with whatever may come up, even if you have to say “I don’t know” or “I don’t know how.”  Just be a good friend in Christ, and everything else will work out.

Try to encourage them spiritually while you visit.  As you get to know them better, you’ll feel more at ease and confident.  You can encourage them by bringing up things they do well, and talking about the ways they encourage others.  You can talk about analogies from the Bible that may be similar to their circumstances (e.g., Job regarding people who are suffering with illness).  But the thing that is most encouraging is your presence, even if you don’t say anything and just watch television together.

If you ask if there’s anything you can do while visiting, you’ll usually get a “no” answer.  So you’ll have to look for things you can do.  You can pick something off the floor, replace a light bulb, take out the trash, etc.  You don’t have to ask if you can do these things, just do it.

It’s usually good if you take someone with you when visiting, just as Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs.  First of all, the visit will be more edifying if two people visit than just one, especially if you take one of your kids with you; the elderly and homebound love for the young to visit.  Second, you can help train others in the art of visiting by taking them with you.  Third, it helps you remain above reproach if you take someone with you, when you are visiting someone who lives alone and is a member of the opposite sex (e.g., I would visit a longtime member who is an elderly woman by myself, but I wouldn’t visit a young female Bible student alone).

Concluding Thoughts
You may be doing an excellent job encouraging brethren, but all of us can improve in our service to God.  Let’s consider what we can do, individually as God’s children, to help one another get to heaven, and encourage those of our congregation.