Just as love provides the perfect foundation for serving God, love also provides the perfect foundation for the home. When we look at families characterized by love in the Bible, we note that they are a blessing to all around them. Bible families known for their lack of love are also known for problems in abundance. We see the same pattern in families of our time. Where love abounds, the home is strong and happy. Where love is lacking, the home is filled with sorrow and multiplied heartaches.
As we noted a few weeks ago, the kind of love which forms this perfect foundation for a home is not primarily an emotion which may pass. Many think of "true love" as a tingling sensation all over or a matter of "chemistry" between people, but that is not the way the Bible presents the love which is essential for a happy home. Remember Paul's description of "true love":
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails (1 Cor. 13:7-8).
This love is self-sacrificing and seeks the other's best interest in all things. This love does not ask, "What is in it for me?" Instead, this love asks, "What is right?" and "What will benefit the one I love?" This kind of love is not here today and gone tomorrow. It is a love that will last and even grow throughout life. This is the kind of love upon which we should build our homes.
In a generation that sees self as number one, the love God describes is not often practiced. Marriages are ending in divorce at an alarming rate in this society because that love is missing from marriages. Even where divorce does not occur, it is clear that many love-less marriages are having their impact upon many homes -- even some among children of God. The symptoms of the problem surround us. Child and wife abuse are at staggering levels. Adultery is an all too common occurrence. Hostility among members of families is on display in malls, restaurants, parks and highways every day. Why? Because the kind of love that seeks the other's interest is not present in many families. How can the problem be corrected? The Bible tells us.
Ephesians 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.... So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."
Colossians 3:18-19 - "Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them."
This love which is willing to serve and undergo hardships for another was exemplified by Jacob for his wife Rachel. Notice the account as recorded in Genesis 29:20 regarding such a love: "So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed but a few days to him because of the love he had for her."
Jacob recognized the wisdom of Solomon's statement, "Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised" (Song of Solomon 8:7). The love God demands of husbands is a love which gives and is glad to do so. Husbands, would you think seven years of work for the opportunity to marry your wife would seem as just a few days? If we have the love for our wife that we should have, we would gladly make the trade.
This love is not to be a temporary state which ends a few years later in divorce. One does not "fall in" and then "fall out" of love with his wife in a guilt-free process beyond his control. The man who ceases to love his wife has ceased to obey God. He has sinned! As we have seen, God did not suggest for husbands to love their own wives, He commands them to do so. As the wise man instructed, "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your life" (Eccl. 9:9). The life-long nature of this loving union is confirmed and emphasized by Jesus (Matt. 19:3-12). Failure for husbands to show leadership in love will cause a downward spiral of discontent, bitterness, hatred and sorrow.
In the vast majority of cases, children will learn love as they see it acted out in everyday life. They will love their parents even as they are shown a proper example of love. They will grow to love their mates as they saw such love exemplified by their parents. They will show the same love for their children that was shown to them. However, if a loving example is not set for children, the stage is set for a tragic re-enactment of bitterness and sorrow carried on for generations.
Our world could be changed drastically for the better if God's plan for the home would be implemented into every family. The "true love" which God demands will provide the only perfect and lasting foundation upon which homes of happiness and fulfillment can be built. Does your family need a change for the better? Try God's plan of love.