by Harry Osborne
What can we do about the problem of violence involving young people which is so prevalent in our society? As we noted in the previous article in this series, God commands us to be a "peaceable" people. But how do we get there from here? That is the question we want to begin addressing in this article by attempting to discuss the principles which lie at the root cause of our trouble in this society. This series was originally written for a weekly column I wrote for the local newspaper back in Texas to address a problem of violence in the local schools. However, the more I travel, the more I see the same problems across our country.
Various psychologists and sociologists have given a wide range of causes for the growing problem of violence among young people. Some say children are conditioned to be violent by toy guns, but they forget that children of past generations spent more time playing "war games" with toy guns without being afflicted with an epidemic of violence. Others suggest it is a response to poverty, but they overlook the fact that Depression era youths did not have high rates of violence despite the fact that the poverty present then was far deeper and more widespread than the poverty we see in our society today. The attempted explanations do not adequately address our present problem.
What has changed over the past few generations that helps to explain why we have rising levels of violence among youths? I believe we can find one of the main contributing factors when we see the breakdown of discipline which has occurred in our society over the past few decades. In the absence of discipline, we have been faced with increasingly devastating effects. As the prophet of old said, "They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind" (Hosea 8:7). Actions have consequences!
Our problem started with discipline becoming lax within many families in our society. It spread to discipline being restricted and ultimately banished within our schools. Finally, the full effect has been seen in our society at large as our courts make a joke out of the punishment of criminals. When undisciplined young people see no negative consequences to wrong, can we really be surprised when they engage in increasingly serious violations of the law?
Some automatically equate calls for discipline with calls to abuse children. However, nothing could be farther from the truth! The Bible teaches the highest standard of love for parents towards children ever declared as well as teaching the necessity of discipline within that relationship. Proper discipline is not a violation of the love commanded, but a necessary component of it. Parents who do not properly discipline their children and teach them a respect for authority are actually the ones who show no love towards their children.
Notice the connection of love with the chastening and correction which are a part of proper discipline as commanded in the Bible:
Proverbs 13:24 - "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."
Proverbs 19:18 - "Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction."
Proverbs 22:15 - "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him."
Proverbs 23:13-14 - "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."
Proverbs 29:15 - "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
Though some characterize the correction taught in the Bible as "abuse," it is exactly the opposite. When a parent swats a child for putting a hand towards the oven burner, is that abuse or an act of love? When a parent spanks a toddler for wandering into the street trying to spare the child the injuries or possible death that might come from being hit by a car, is that abuse or an act of love? Clearly, such discipline is not abusive at all - it is loving!
The same thing applies to discipline aimed at teaching the child respect for proper authority which may spare that child from tragic consequences throughout life. Many life-altering bad habits start with behavior that could have been corrected much easier at an early stage. Temper tantrums in a child will set a habit of wrath in the heart if such actions are not punished from the very first manifestation. A child who exhibits an explosive anger needs to be corrected to control that anger or it will only become more explosive in years to come with increasingly devastating effects. A loving parent will practice proper discipline to teach a child about proper conduct and respect for authority.
That does not condone abusive rage which vents a parent's temper upon a child. The Bible condemns parental action which provokes a child to wrath rather than correcting the child (Ephesians 6:4). When discipline is exercised by a parent acting out of wrath, a pattern of rage is instilled in a child rather than being expelled by proper discipline. Proper discipline is instructive, not vengeful. It seeks correction of the child, not exaltation of self.
If we are ever going to solve the problem of youth violence, we must restore discipline to our society. In order to succeed in that effort, parents must restore discipline within the home. Though some children will abandon proper parental training to become involved in violence, most unruly youths are the result of a lack of discipline as taught in God's word (Proverbs 22:6). As Christians, we must determine to let our homes be an example of the solution rather than a demonstration of the problem.