by Harry Osborne
The book of Philemon in the New Testament is short in length, but teaches us a great lesson about dealing with others. The apostle Paul wrote it as a letter to a fellow Christian, Philemon. The letter was carried by Philemon's runaway slave, Onesimus, who had been converted to Christ by Paul.
The letter is basically a request by Paul for Philemon to release Onesimus from physical service so that Onesimus might join Paul in the spiritual service of preaching the gospel. Paul does not require Philemon to do as he wishes, even though Paul had authority to do so. Listen to the way Paul expresses it:
Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you being such a one as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ - I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains, who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me (Philemon 8-11, NKJV).
Instead of compelling Philemon to release Onesimus, Paul shows the confidence in him to act of his free will and grant the request. Near the end of the letter, Paul affirms that trust in Philemon saying, "Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say" (Philemon 21). The apostle Paul did not use feigned compliments or flattery to trick one into some action (2 Cor. 4:1-2). Evidently, Paul had seen or heard of some goodness in the character of Philemon which was the basis for this confidence.
However, the fact that Paul saw some good in the character of Philemon which spurred this trust does not suggest that Philemon was without faults. No doubt, Philemon was filled with the same weaknesses and faults that all of us have. If the apostle had wanted to look for deficiencies in Philemon, he could have found them. If Paul had focused on those shortcomings, he could have declared his doubts about Philemon rather than his confidence in him. The result would have been a far different letter than the one we have preserved by God in our Bibles.
As Jesus looked out on a field recently planted, He gave a simple illustration of the difference between His view and that of the disciples. "Do you not say, `There are still four months and then comes the harvest'? Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest!" (Jn. 4:35).
Simply put, Jesus saw what could be based on the Samaritan woman's desire to hear His teaching. The disciples merely saw what was presently so. Jesus looked for the good that was in the woman and where it could lead. The disciples looked at her faults and stopped at that point. Both saw the woman as a sinner, but Jesus' hope for her redemption separated his view of her from that of the disciples.
Too often, we look at those caught in the practice of sin as unreachable and a waste of time to teach. We tend to seek prospects who are morally decent and already interested in religious matters. Clearly, those people need to hear the gospel message. However, the "down-and-out" sinners of the world also need to hear the gospel message. Paul, a former murderer and blasphemer, made the point this way:
This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life (1 Tim. 1:15-16).
If Paul could change, we should have confidence that the gospel has the power to change sinners steeped in sin today. Let us never sell short the power of the gospel or the hunger for salvation of those lost in sin.
The Bible declares a positive basis for marriage on the part of both spouses (Eph. 5:22-33). The husband is to "love" his wife and seek her good above his own. The wife is to respect her husband and submit to his leadership. The things commanded of each partner suggest they must have some confidence in the other. After all, love and respect do not flourish in the midst of suspicion, animosity and resentment.
I have seen the terrible result of children whose parents showed no confidence in them. When a parent constantly dwells on the burden presented by a child, the child hears it. When an exasperated parent expresses a desire to get away from a child, it has an effect upon the child that endures beyond the tension of the moment. Our children need to feel our love for them and our confidence in them even in times of correction. Misbehavior needs to be seen as a departure from the child's norm, not a norm from which the parent would like to depart. There is a big difference between the two!